Your voice has gradually started to fade from my memory. Is it a good thing?
Slowly I'm unable to recall your face. A push, and a pull and a nudge, what i held on off you lay scattered on the ground. The images, the memories, your laughs, your eyes. I pull out a picture from the stack. I stared and I gazed at it, like gazing at stars, and wondered, 'the same face everywhere, but just not in my mind'. I grow confused. Your laughter that once filled my ears, now doesn't stay there anymore. My eyes don't want to recognize you any more. That tiny mole on your nose and those bunny ears are about to leave my memory too. I pushed you. You left, long back. You came, you left, you came and you left. This time i pushed harder. You left, of course. It has never taken much, to make you leave. But couldn't you look back, that one last time? Somewhere in my heart, I longed for your return. But now, not any more. Why? Is it a good thing?
I hated you and despised you for a long time. Bitterness filled my heart and I voiced spiteful words for you. Slowly it dried off, the bitterness. Now just fragments of it remain. I'm planning to brush them off too. What i thought I'd feel after the bitterness gone, is this blankness and void. But i don't feel that way. Maybe I'm past all that melodrama. Maybe it's high time that my happiness played it's own symphony rather than singing the tunes you wrote. The notes are too old now. So, I'd just tear them apart, and throw them away. 4 years. Way too much time wasted, don't you think? Yeah, it wasn't easy for me. We never said goodbye. Things were left dangling in mid-air. Thoughts were stopped from flowing. You and me could never turn 'we'. Now, i feel maybe we weren't meant to be. My love for you is gone. Is it a good thing?
The deeper I peek, the more I see how everything was so very right and so very wrong at the same time. Mostly, wrong was the time. How wrong could the stars be, that we found each other to part ways. How wrong could i be, to have held on to your memories, this far? Far too long isn't it. You found your happiness way back, in someone else. My happiness had lost it way. But i think, after having removed you from my mind, there's space enough in my memory for it to find it's way back home, to me. The baggages of emotions you left behind, I'm throwing them out too. You've outgrown them. They won't fit you anymore.I know I'll remain as a figment of your memory, but I think you need to move out now. Is it a good thing?
We never said good bye, but now i want to. Good byes can be tough, but they need to be said.
You were a nice part of my memories. Nice to have known you.
Hasta La Vista, Baby. Au Revoir.
