Seeing you there, seeing you everyday, now doesn't entice a thing within me. sitting there with you, with all that care in your eyes, couldn't take me back to where we left it. As your fingers playfully ran through my hair, and held my hands, it felt cold inside me. I wanted to, and i tried to say what i meant, right then and there. That the "us" that you're longing for, doesn't exist anymore.
It wasn't the first time i was trying to tell you this. Every time we walked those empty roads, i could hear those words rushing out of me, but then someone or the other we'd encounter, as we always do, and I'd swallow back the words.
It took me sometime, to cut the strings of attachments, one by one. Slowly, i took one step at a time. I had suffered enough hurt already. I just wasn't eager for more. I knew that our dreams of "us" were never turning to reality. You never were the person who intended on staying. I don't know why you stayed this long. Last year, it was a different me, already broken, on the verge of getting shattered. You came along, and made things worse. I never thought you were my glue, i knew it. But don't know why those kind words seemed like honey and i lapped on to it. Maybe, i didn't have enough energy left in me to push you back. It took me one summer, to sit and cut off all those strings brutally.
I had a realization.
I gained a perspective finally. I didn't know what "gaining" a perspective was, till i actually realized it.
I realized that you were my lesson, to grow stronger. You were my lesson to be a changed a person. I am a person who resists changes a lot, one who is scared do even move a chair in a different way, because it changes things. You said you were the best person out there, who can take care of me in the best way.
Sitting at home, away from you and all the hubhub, i had time to think, think about your place in my life. I had told you i'll leave, and you always thought you can pull me back like you had all the control in the world over me. 2 months away from you, made me see me. How much i had broken, how much you broke me further. I saw you as my kryptonite, made me weaker at my knees but all the very harmful for me, by all means. I decided, your infidelity wasn't worth my time and my heart. You'll never mend your ways. I notice you silently, doing all that you do, that you always did, trying to make me jealous with all those who had no idea.
Coming back, looking at those eyes, made me weak again, but this time i knew, you can't have me back. i wasn't the same anymore. the change i had always dreaded has struck me. Reminiscing all those times with you, made me laugh. That laugh relieved you as you thought you had me back, little did you know that laugh was of freedom.
I still sit with you, with all your stories and that head full of lies of yours. You staring at me, thinking of ways to get me running back to you, with those enthralling eyes tracing my every move. i both love it and hate it about you, that intent gaze about every detail about me, including my little bindi, which is off by a millimeter.
As we sit in those empty streets, you friskily take my hands in yours, pulling my cheeks with the other, i stare at your eyes full of fallacies.
It wasn't the first time i was trying to tell you this. Every time we walked those empty roads, i could hear those words rushing out of me, but then someone or the other we'd encounter, as we always do, and I'd swallow back the words.
It took me sometime, to cut the strings of attachments, one by one. Slowly, i took one step at a time. I had suffered enough hurt already. I just wasn't eager for more. I knew that our dreams of "us" were never turning to reality. You never were the person who intended on staying. I don't know why you stayed this long. Last year, it was a different me, already broken, on the verge of getting shattered. You came along, and made things worse. I never thought you were my glue, i knew it. But don't know why those kind words seemed like honey and i lapped on to it. Maybe, i didn't have enough energy left in me to push you back. It took me one summer, to sit and cut off all those strings brutally.
I had a realization.
I gained a perspective finally. I didn't know what "gaining" a perspective was, till i actually realized it.
I realized that you were my lesson, to grow stronger. You were my lesson to be a changed a person. I am a person who resists changes a lot, one who is scared do even move a chair in a different way, because it changes things. You said you were the best person out there, who can take care of me in the best way.
Sitting at home, away from you and all the hubhub, i had time to think, think about your place in my life. I had told you i'll leave, and you always thought you can pull me back like you had all the control in the world over me. 2 months away from you, made me see me. How much i had broken, how much you broke me further. I saw you as my kryptonite, made me weaker at my knees but all the very harmful for me, by all means. I decided, your infidelity wasn't worth my time and my heart. You'll never mend your ways. I notice you silently, doing all that you do, that you always did, trying to make me jealous with all those who had no idea.
Coming back, looking at those eyes, made me weak again, but this time i knew, you can't have me back. i wasn't the same anymore. the change i had always dreaded has struck me. Reminiscing all those times with you, made me laugh. That laugh relieved you as you thought you had me back, little did you know that laugh was of freedom.
I still sit with you, with all your stories and that head full of lies of yours. You staring at me, thinking of ways to get me running back to you, with those enthralling eyes tracing my every move. i both love it and hate it about you, that intent gaze about every detail about me, including my little bindi, which is off by a millimeter.
As we sit in those empty streets, you friskily take my hands in yours, pulling my cheeks with the other, i stare at your eyes full of fallacies.
